I Have A Bracelet

Do you ever look back on events in your life and in hindsight you are able to see God's fingerprints all over everything? That's how I feel about our almost 2 year battle with infertility. Over a year ago, I decided to reach out to a girl, well young lady, who I went to high school with. I had remembered reading about her and her husband's journey to bring their twins into the world a few years ago. I remembered crying as I read about all of the tests, negative pregnancy tests, and the IVF cycle she went through. I remembered the strength and determination in the words she wrote. I had not really spoken to her in years since she was a few years younger than me. After I had been round and round with a few local OB/Gyns, I decided I should reach out to this girl. I knew I had a battle ahead of me and it was hard for me to talk about what I was going through. It was hard to explain my situation to people who had never sat in front of a doctor who told them, "The chances of you getting pregnant are not in your favor." I needed someone to understand. God seemed to keep nudging me to contact Ashley Spain. 

After several hours of debating how to even do this, I finally just sent her an inbox message on Facebook. I told her everything we had been through. I told her I had read her story again through tear filled eyes and it gave me hope. She replied shortly afterwards. She told me how she felt during her journey. It mirrored a lot of what I was experiencing emotionally. The best part was when she told me "If you EVER need anything, please do not hesitate to call me or text me." We kept in touch as I talked to her about tests and procedures. A few months later I received a letter in the mail from her along with a bracelet. In the letter she explained that the bracelet is a fertility bracelet. She said she wore it through her journey and she wanted me to have it. She told me she knew how alone I probably felt and if I ever needed anything to let her know. I cried the biggest tears. I have worn this bracelet nearly everyday since. When I look at it, I am reminded of the person who gave it to me and her journey. I wore the bracelet the morning of my surgery. I wore it to every single one of my monitoring appointments and all 3 of my IUI procedures. I had it on the afternoon my nurse called me with my beta results. I'm not a believer in "luck", but I honestly believe this bracelet has served as a visual reminder of what I'm doing and why. I'm doing all of this for my babies. One day I will hold my own precious miracles in my arms as I tell them the story of this bracelet. 

I hope to one day be able to pay forward what Ashley Spain has done for me. She is such a beautiful person inside and out. We have often talked about "Why us?". Why were WE chosen to fight infertility? Ashley fought infertility and won. She has a set of absolutely adorable twins to show for it. She used her journey to help me as I'm sure she has helped others. I cannot express how thankful and blessed I have been to have her in my life during this journey. I hope to one day be an encouragement to others just as Ashley has been for me.  

So if you are reading this Ashley, from the bottom of my heart.... THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing your story with all of Facebook. Thank you for listening. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for helping me realize I can keep pushing forward and every single needle prick is worth it. Thank you. I would not wish infertility upon anyone, but I am thankful God placed you in my life to hold my hand and help me through this.

As we continue to wait for test results and ultrasounds, I will be writing about what this journey has taught me and people I have encountered along the way. So stay tuned...  

1 comment: