Follow the Arrows to the Exit

Earlier this month, Trey and I went on a four night get away to Las Vegas. If you have ever been inside of any of the massive, gorgeous casinos in Las Vegas, you are aware of the signs. If you are looking for a certain store, the restroom, the exit, or the escalator in a casino,  you have to follow the arrows on these signs. The arrows take you through the entire casino, sometimes even in a complete circle if you aren't careful. The goal would be for you to make a few stops at a machine or a table on your way to your destination. They want you to get distracted. 

I have been distracted. I have been focusing on Baby Bell and doing everything I can do to pray and pray and pray for our healthy, beautiful twin miracles. I have been looking for the arrows to the easiest way from point A to point B. My husband and I just want biological babies to raise together. We want to experience pregnancy and parenthood together. We have prayed for God to hear our pleas. I have not mentioned my cysts or my stupid lining to God lately. I've been too caught up in praying for miracle babies. I haven't thought to ask God to heal my cysts. I've been going in circles. I need to take care of Kari first. We need to get ME healthy, then we can get back to our precious miracle twins. 

Last Wednesday night, as I poured my heart and soul out to anyone who would listen, I told someone "I just don't know how to pray for this anymore". My mind was completely blank. I had prayed every way and every prayer I could think of. The sweet soul who allowed me to cry on her shoulder said the sweetest thing to me. She said, "We will pray you through this. Sometimes we don't know what to say and we forget things, but then there are other people who remember things and are filled with words." I need you to pray me through this. Just like a person with cancer prays for their body to be healed, I'm praying for my body to be healed. I'm praying for my doctors and nurses to have the knowledge and God-given talents to see my chart and know what they can do to give me relief. If you aren't a believer in medicine... i.e. Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Provera, Follistim, IUIs, IVF, etc... please do not give me 83564 reasons why I'm wrong in wanting to pray for my doctors and nurses. This isn't something I can "just relax" and it will go away. It isn't something I can just eat grass-fed beef and home grown turnip greens and it will miraculously go away. This is something I have had for a LONG time, but it didn't make it's way to the surface until I stopped taking birth control pills and started trying to get pregnant. So I'm begging you, just pray for me. You don't have to tell me you are praying for me. You don't have to share your cousin's neighbor's sister- who- had- tried- for -4 -months- to- get- pregnant story. Just pray for me. Pray I do not have to have another surgery. Pray I do not lose an ovary. Pray I am able to get some pain relief soon. 

Please. Just. Pray.