Here We Go... Again.

God's Timing is Right.... 

On Saturday, November 30, 2013 at around 9:37AM I received the phone call nobody is prepared to receive. My brother was in Murfreesboro (30 minutes from me and an hour from our parents) and had received a phone call from our Mom that our Pa had been found in the parking lot of the Co-op in our hometown of Lynchburg ....unresponsive. Immediately my heart broke as I felt the past 28 and a half years of memories with my grandfather flashing before my eyes. I couldn't even make words to tell my husband we had to get to my dad. All I could say was, "I didn't get to tell him bye. I can't let him go without telling him bye. I have to get to him."  I'm sure my husband was just as panicked as I was since I was not clear at first as to who I was rambling about. After throwing on some clothes that I'm not even sure were clean, I decided to call Mom myself because the anticipation of the next phone call was killing me.  As soon as Mom answered the phone, I knew. She had to tell me anyway, but I knew before she even spoke the words. He was gone. He was suddenly called home by Jesus that Saturday morning after he paid for his gas at the Co-op. 

It all makes sense now. Seriously. It does. If we had become pregnant when we felt we should be pregnant, I would have been toting around a newborn during this stress, mourning, and sadness. I would not have been able to run out the door and drive home entirely too fast if I had a newborn in tow. I would not have been able to sit quietly in my Pa's porch swing and bawl my eyes out. God knew exactly what He was doing. God also didn't want me to experience the loss of my Pa while I was pregnant. The stress, mourning, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, and sadness would not have been healthy for our growing Baby Bell. Once again, God knew exactly what he was doing. 

I would be lying if I told you this is easy. It isn't. Our family has endured so much loss in the past 2 years. First my cousin, Chris at the age of 29 in 2011. My aunt Corine who was like a grandmother to us passed away after a short battle with cancer in July of this year. Now Pa has suddenly passed away. That is A LOT to take in. It is a lot to process. Some days I feel like we are all going to make it. Then, I feel the pain in my heart and am reminded just how hard the next few days, weeks, months, and years are going to be. I know with the love and support of my family, close friends, and even some strangers we will make it through this trying time.