change: v. To cause to be different;  To go from one phase to another, as the moon or the seasons

change: n. A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Part I.

If you fail. Try again.  If you fall down. Get up. Brush yourself off and try again.  If at first you don't succeed. Try. Try again.  Never give up? Ha.

This is me throwing in the towel.  I'm not giving up.  I've just realized it is time to change my approach. Please hold your applause.

Many moons ago when I was young and looking for direction in my education, I tried out several different majors and/ or concentrations.  Just to put it into perspective for you, when I applied to MTSU in the fall of 2002 I had every intention in the world to be an athletic trainer.  In August of 2008, I graduated with a Bachelor of Business Administration degree in Finance and Insurance.  In between, I dabbled with a major in general studies, history, business administration, and financial institution management.  Long story short... I had NO IDEA what I wanted to be when I grew up!  I would get unhappy with the curriculum or the teachers and I would change my major or concentration.  I somehow stumbled into insurance thanks to a little old man who didn't wear a belt and always had a briefcase. He carried a Styrofoam cup with him everywhere he went.  That man held my future. I changed my major to finance with a concentration in insurance.

I like to think stereotypes no longer exist. Women can do a job just as well as most men can; however, I have spent the last several years trying to prove even though I appear to be a 22 year old little girl to most, I still know (for the most part) what I am talking about.  I have made great attempts to be taken seriously. I've tried. I've failed. I've tried again... and I've failed.  I've become frustrated. I've searched deep within myself trying to figure out WHAT exactly I want. Where do I want to be in 5 years? 

I've hit a brick wall. A few weeks ago I started researching to see what I needed to do in order to obtain my Associate in Risk Management (ARM) certification.  Risk management intrigued me in college. It would be nice to have some letters after my name. Maybe if this whole insurance thing does finally bottom out, I will have something to fall back on.  I took it into my own hands to make a change. I guess we will see where this goes...?  It can't hurt anything, can it?

Part II.

Yes. I have an attitude problem.

I try to leave Jonathan out of my blogs, but today he deserves 2,896,525,971 gold stars and probably a trip to the Masters for putting up with my ridiculousness the past 3 weeks.  There is no denying I needed an attitude adjustment. Between the stresses of work, looking for a house, and being a single mommy, I somehow managed to transform into Medusa. Snakes and all.  *clapping* He for some reason felt the need to stick with Medusa during the turmoil. Yay for Jonathan!

Moving on...
I've learned a few things about myself in the last few weeks.

- Depriving myself of caffeine causes withdrawals from hell... including a headache.
- "Crazy Girl" by Eli Young Band was apparently written about my life...
- Mexican food makes me fat.

On a serious note...
- I need to learn how to handle pressure.
- Lashing out at innocent bystanders does not solve anything.
- Listen to others more. Talk less.
- Ignoring a problem doesn't make the problem go away.
- Squeezing pennies is negative fun.
- This is my life. I only have 1. Take control of it...  I should make changes if I'm unhappy.

To sum this entire blog up... I've hit a brick wall and I'm in the process of either blasting the effin thing or climbing over it (aka 'get over it').  

Until next time...

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