Glass

"We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.

We might be oil and water, this could be a big mistake,
We might burn like gasoline and fire,
It's a chance we'll have to take."
-Thompson Square

Once again, I have mistreated and forgotten about my blog. Oh well. I'm back and better than ever...? OK. Maybe not better than ever.

Anyone who Facebook stalks me or follows me on Twitter probably knows I had to jump through hoops, fire, red tape, and other stupid things just so I could venture outside of the state of Tennessee with my little pumpkin pie, Gavin.  I didn't get to go WHERE I wanted , I didn't get to stay gone as long as I wanted, but I DID get to leave the state of Tennessee for 2 days with my sweet little fella.  We took a mini road trip to the great state of Indiana. I use the word "great" very loosely.  There is seriously NOTHING in Indiana except for corn fields, road construction, and Holiday World.  Since the first two aren't that exciting, I'm sure it is easy to figure out where Gavin and I went. HOLIDAY WORLD! We had a great time from the moment we woke up Monday morning until the moment I had to take him to his daddy yesterday afternoon.  He may not have realized the importance of this mini-vacation, but maybe one day he will. 

This was my first real road trip by myself. Granted I took a road trip to Florence a few months ago with Caity and Ashley. That wasn't a big deal. I had 2 other adults in the vehicle with me, helping me navigate the back roads of Tennessee and Alabama. THIS road trip was just me, my GPS, and my little backseat driver who snacked the whole way to Indiana and slept the whole way home.  We sang along with whatever Sirus radio station was playing the current country hits. I listened to Gavin mumble through the "fast parts" (as he calls them) of Jason Aldean's new song, "Dirt Road Anthem".  We talked about what we planned to do first when we got to Holiday World. We talked about how much fun we were having singing. He reminded me what to do if I got lost in Holiday World. ha. Yes, my 7 year-old was concerned about ME getting lost in Holiday World.

As I was driving out of Santa Claus, Indiana... I almost didn't want to leave.  I knew our short little Mommy/ Gavin trip had come to an end and it made me so sad.  Yesterday when Gav and I went over to Trey's to give him his souvenirs (since Trey was the main financial supporter of the Holiday World trip, he deserved a key chain and shot glass), Gavin was SO excited to tell Trey all about our trip. Watching Gavin's big brown eyes light up as he told about riding the roller coasters with his hands up, eating a yummy cheeseburger, and playing in the water park totally made me feel like I did something right.  Clearly I am not the MOST AWESOME parent because I can't afford to take him to Disney World every year, but I hope one day Gavin will understand WHY I wasn't able to take him to Disney World or on any other long, EXPENSIVE vacation. 

*Part II*
The boyfriend.  As cheesy and cliche as it may sound, he really is my best friend. In past relationships (even my marriage), there had always been the guy... then there was always a gal pal or two who everything, who was always my go-to person if I ever needed someone to hang out with, or  get away, etc.  Don't get me wrong. I still have my close friends, but Trey definitely takes the title as best friend. I tell him everything and we do everything together. He has been put to the test. He has dealt with my "leave me alone" mood. He held my hand and gave me a shoulder to cry on as I grieved over the loss of Chris. He made sure my birthday was the best birthday yet. He has listened to me vent, rant, and cry over my situation with Gavin and the ridiculous parenting plan I agreed to. We attend church together when my baseball schedule and his work schedule allow it.  Not once has he gotten upset with me. Not ONCE has he yelled, pointed blame, or complained. Our plans always revolve around what the other is doing. He has been amazing through everything. It is so awesome to be absolutely crazy in love with my best friend.  It really doesn't get any better than this.

A few weeks ago, Trey and I threw together a cookout for our parents so they could meet. I had this urge to make something. I decided a potato salad sounded good, so I found a recipe for a potato salad. We went to the grocery store the night before our cookout to get our list of cookout items. The day of the cookout, we worked on cleaning his house up and getting the food ready. I started making my potato salad about 2 hours before our parents were supposed to arrive. I started boiling my eggs and dicing the celery and pickles. So far so good. Then.... I tried to peel the shell off of one of the eggs. Fail. The egg broke in my hand. This may sound petty and dumb to some, but to me it was a big deal. I used to get made fun of because I didn't know how to cook certain things... or because I messed something up or didn't put enough of an ingredient in it. I never cook because I've always been told I COULDN'T cook.  I was embarrassed and sad when that egg broke in my hand. The ONE thing I wanted to fix for the cookout and I ruined it... As I tried to hold myself together and not cry, Trey came over and patted me on the back and said "It's ok. There's a few more eggs in the fridge. Just put another one in there. It will be ok."  He then helped me dice my celery, potatoes, pickles, and eventually my hard boiled eggs. I know this story may seem cheesy, but I've never had a guy do that before. Never.

This is something I have always wished I could have... and now I have it and can't imagine letting it go.

Until next time...